Almost a year ago, I was having what I called a 'mid-life crisis' while dreading the impending doom of the big 25. I felt like my life was half over, and that this is about the time I should find myself a mustang and an affair. I wasn't looking forward to whatever it was that 25 years on this planet had to offer me.
Well it's been a crazy year. I'm almost 26 now, which is basically going to be the last time I can say that I'm even in my "mid" twenties. But I'm not feeling so awful about it as I did last year. I think it's because this year has been so dramatic and extreme in regards to major events in my life up to this point.
I decided a few weeks ago that I should write a summary of my 25th year of existence. Mostly because I feel that I have done so much more than merely 'exist'. True that I haven't felt like the hugest success or like I've got a specific purpose, but this has been a year of wonderful and dreadful miscellany and it feels like it's the first time I've actually taken a chance. Lived. Dared to dream. Did something extreme. Felt inspired. Felt at all, in some cases.
So over the next little while I'm gunna mostly be talking about what I've learned this past year. The best way to do that is for me to make a list of all of the life-changing happenings from this year, both good and bad. The neat thing is that I already know that my 'good' list is way longer than my 'bad' one.
So just to get it out of the way, let's start with the 25 year yucks:
- Grandma finds out she has cancer in February
- I get fired for the first time in my life in June
- Stella has to be put down in September
- I begin a serious crisis of calling in regards to my future profession
But more importantly, here are the 25 year 'yay's:
- Ladies Retreat last November; the start of my forgiveness journey
- Kicking habits; having to re-kick a few times
- 5 pregnancies; 2 babies already; 4 more on the way
- Included in above: Brody Roland McKay - my gorgeous and now-6-month-old nephew
- Development of creative projects (OMG, Kesia's wall)
- Discipline Development; prayer life
- Realizing that I don't need to be perfect to be a mentor; walking alongside two girls as teenage life throws them some pretty serious curveballs
- Becoming an honourary Rack Pack member, helping with fundraising and planning for the WE2EBC, and being part of the unexpected perks that just happened to tag along with it (CDJ, Broadcast, Chicks Night Out, etc)
- The Higgins. Discovering new talent; making new friends.
- Great concerts in general - CDJ (Canada Day Jam, not Carolyn Dawn Johnson), Higgins, BMG, Sugarland
- Joining the WE2EBC last minute; intense fundraising; shaving head; being reminded that God is in control of EVERY part of my life
- Executing the WE2EBC; challenging my limitations; changing the way I look at and think about myself.
- A taste of clarity: Boys, boys, boys.
- Internship at Gateway; completely new ministry experiences
- New and wonderful friendships in unexpected people and places (for my own memory - ladies retreat gals, leanne, jocelyn).
This is about all I can think of for now, but I'll probably come back and add a few on here and there. I know that the entire entry is inconsistent in tenses and all that junk but this is just my outline that I plan on working from. So gimme a break. Those of you who would give me a hard time know who you are. :)
So today is Thanksgiving Monday, which is sort of an appropriate day for me to have made a list of everything crazy that's happened this year because I've unexpectedly given myself a chance to be thankful for everything that is on this list. Even the bad stuff. Coz with the bad stuff comes great memories, a sense of hope and the peace that everything has a purpose and even something good comes out of the junk that life has to toss at us sometimes.
I'm sort of glad that I didn't sleep well all night and that, as a result, I woke up too early for a holiday. I was gunna try to force myself back to sleep but I felt like I needed to get up for something. Last night I read back on ALL of my blogs since I started this thing and so this morning I felt inspired to get started on this summary.
So here you have it. For now. Hopefully this means I'll have shorter, more frequent posts rather than the gargantuan ones I've been writing as a result of letting everything build up.
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