Blah. Blah blah blah I feel gross.
Today was a big day. It was the last day of Flipside for the year and I'm excited to be free for a few months (I even held a special place in my heart for the song "Free" as we sang it today...I chuckled to myself and sang it with a slightly different idea in mind). I went for a potluck at the Lundrigans house which is the first I've been there in about a year. Then I played baseball - I tried to get out of it and I just couldn't. There weren't enough girls so I had to play. In jeans. In 32 degree weather. With no glove. Or sunglasses. Or hat. On third base. Facing the sun. With a headache. Not pleased. I'm not sure if I'll be sticking on the team this year after this week.
Then I spent a few hours at the McNeil home - as usual. That didn't end up so well. Bottom line: I'm not going to be a relief worker anymore. It just isn't the right time right now and I don't think it would ever be. I think that some things were expected to blow over given a little time, and they have not. I don't know how the friendship will hold up based on the feelings we shared tonight. It's unfortunate but I have to believe that I'm doing the right thing even if it's not what everyone wants - including myself.
But I did have a slight breakdown, phoning Nic at 12:45 am. I almost ended up at her doorstep, actually, right around this time. She didn't answer at first but phoned me back at 1:30. Hopefully that means she'd only just gotten home from being out or something rather than having phoned me after waking up - coz I felt thoroughly stupid by the time I finished leaving the phone message.
Anyway...work is good. I'm working lots this coming month. Of course, in Jacquie's latest fashion, it's because someone is in the middle of a tragedy and needs coverage. Makes me feel kind of depressed at what my role is this past year. I know it might sound selfish on my part but I can't help how I feel.
That seems to be the theme of the day.
So I'm just sort of wallowing at the moment and don't have much more to say. I thought I'd have a whole interweb's worth of material to write but alas I'm at a loss (for once).
The unknown scares me.
29 June 2009
21 March 2009
what is this feeling so sudden and new?
okay so it's been a wild stinkin' ride since my last entry. i won't even get into all of it but basically i've been working a lot between teaching guitar, repping at the bank and being the 'flipside coordinator' at church while kerry took some time off.
now i'm back in the 'practically unemployed' seat and i'm looking forward to the break. i haven't had much of a break this past week though and i'll get to that.
a couple of high lights since the last entry:
- i randomly took off to hollywood for a late birthday present to myself. i was there for 2 nights and took in the musical 'wicked'. i fell in love with it and the flame for idina menzel was rekindled, even though she didn't play elphaba there.
- have been talking to the higgins manager and he is trying to squeeze a fundraiser concert into the band's summer touring schedule - raising money for the weekend to end breast cancer. i'm really crossing my fingers on this
- booked my ticket to cranbrook for kate's wedding. super stoked about that.
- a new addition to my family - patrick the guinea pig. he's named after patrick brewer on mcleod's daughters. i felt sorry for him in the pet store.
- i bought a car. my first big girl purchase. 05 pursuit, orange, standard. she's purdy and totally suits me. i'm still deciding on a name for her...my brother's bonneville is named bonnie, so i'm thinking of some sort of p name for my pursuit but that's for another day.
- rachel was down this past week, from monday til friday. we spent the whole time chilling out, we saw a movie, we went to the mall (ugh), and then on thursday we went to syracuse to see idina menzel in concert. it was stunning - i can't believe the live caliber this woman has in her voice. and she was funny...you always expect a concert to have just music and minimal talking but she was totally talking with the audience and interacting with everyone, being genuine and real and kind of bitter and crass. ha it was hilarious. she even told the audience what we can do if we didn't like the encore song she picked...hehehe. i know it's rude but it makes me giggle.
low lights:
- booked but had to cancel my flight to england for lib's wedding. it's just gunna be too much money and i SO can't afford it.
- had a bit of a breakdown in...oh i dunno...january? february? got really sick a few times and had my very first panic attack in nic's car...
- have had wonderful boy falling for me for the past two months, to my surprise, but he doesn't love Jesus more than he loves me. that's a silly way to put it but i understand it. and the timing is all wrong. grr.
- haven't done any school stuff, and now i only have 2 months left to get it all done. ugh. hopefully now i can concentrate on it a bit more.
anyway that's about all. today is (yet again) another work day for me and i've gotta get my butt out the door...oh just about now. i'm housesitting at the sylvester's again...just me and patrick.
no painting this time, though. just reading. and if i think of picking it up tomorrow night, school work.
now i'm back in the 'practically unemployed' seat and i'm looking forward to the break. i haven't had much of a break this past week though and i'll get to that.
a couple of high lights since the last entry:
- i randomly took off to hollywood for a late birthday present to myself. i was there for 2 nights and took in the musical 'wicked'. i fell in love with it and the flame for idina menzel was rekindled, even though she didn't play elphaba there.
- have been talking to the higgins manager and he is trying to squeeze a fundraiser concert into the band's summer touring schedule - raising money for the weekend to end breast cancer. i'm really crossing my fingers on this
- booked my ticket to cranbrook for kate's wedding. super stoked about that.
- a new addition to my family - patrick the guinea pig. he's named after patrick brewer on mcleod's daughters. i felt sorry for him in the pet store.
- i bought a car. my first big girl purchase. 05 pursuit, orange, standard. she's purdy and totally suits me. i'm still deciding on a name for her...my brother's bonneville is named bonnie, so i'm thinking of some sort of p name for my pursuit but that's for another day.
- rachel was down this past week, from monday til friday. we spent the whole time chilling out, we saw a movie, we went to the mall (ugh), and then on thursday we went to syracuse to see idina menzel in concert. it was stunning - i can't believe the live caliber this woman has in her voice. and she was funny...you always expect a concert to have just music and minimal talking but she was totally talking with the audience and interacting with everyone, being genuine and real and kind of bitter and crass. ha it was hilarious. she even told the audience what we can do if we didn't like the encore song she picked...hehehe. i know it's rude but it makes me giggle.
low lights:
- booked but had to cancel my flight to england for lib's wedding. it's just gunna be too much money and i SO can't afford it.
- had a bit of a breakdown in...oh i dunno...january? february? got really sick a few times and had my very first panic attack in nic's car...
- have had wonderful boy falling for me for the past two months, to my surprise, but he doesn't love Jesus more than he loves me. that's a silly way to put it but i understand it. and the timing is all wrong. grr.
- haven't done any school stuff, and now i only have 2 months left to get it all done. ugh. hopefully now i can concentrate on it a bit more.
anyway that's about all. today is (yet again) another work day for me and i've gotta get my butt out the door...oh just about now. i'm housesitting at the sylvester's again...just me and patrick.
no painting this time, though. just reading. and if i think of picking it up tomorrow night, school work.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)