So things are finally looking like they can start settling down. The youth conference is over and baseball has started and Blast Off and Flipside will soon be done for the summer. It's exciting, but I also find that when I have nothing to do and no place to be, I get really bored and find more things to commit to in order to fill the empty times. It's like by being busy, I'm actually being lazy by avoiding important things such as prayer and devo time, exercise and family time. I'd much rather fill my day with doing stuff than spending time in my own head or doing something monotonous.
Let me just say that tonight I watched two PPV movies, a Canadian tv show called Skooled which aired a while ago (that my dear Dondrea was in) and an episode of Bones...and it made me want to prettymuch die. I've realized that there is little desire within me to sit on a couch and watch tv for hours on end. And yet I can do it so easily with something like Will & Grace or Gilmore Girls. Or really any of my DVD series', come to think of it.
But seriously, having spent upwards of 5 hours straight in front of the tv figuring out what to watch next really took a lot out of me instead of chilled me out. I wanted to sleep the whole time but kept myself awake because I didn't want to miss it. It's like I'm addicted to, and yet bored of, TV.
In other news, I had a bit of a freak out on my baseball coach yesterday. This isn't something I'm proud of but I wasn't about to let what was said go unconfronted. I got a little confused about my position when playing the field, as I'm normally a third baseman. I'm not saying I *have* to be here, but I just assumed since it's been that way for a year now. So I went out to my place and saw someone else standing there. I got all kerfuffled and confused and asked "what's up with this? I've always played third...", to which my coach replied "Well, you're on 2nd this time because that's normally where the girls are played. You see, it's a pretty far throw from third to first and that area is a hot spot for line drives so I put you and Shannon to trade off on 2nd".
Well the comment threw me off a little and I shook my head in the same way a cat does when you blow in its ear. I sort of said "well alright" but walked away feeling thoroughly offended. I thought of last season and remembered how I played. And I wasn't bad by any means. In fact, I did quite well. Maybe I missed the occasional line drive but whenever I did stop the ball, never did I once throw it short to first. If anything, I would throw it over Shawn's head and end up forcing a double for having too strong of an arm.
So I let it stew and simmer and I got really angry really quickly. We had a few heated words and although he kept asking me to just drop it, he would be the one to bring it up again a few minutes later and I'll have to admit that I didn't hold my tongue when I should have. I had a few words come out that weren't any longer than 4 letters each and I'm not proud of it. But I had to email him again tonight and make sure he actually understood why I was upset. He seemed to think that I was angry because I was being a spoiled brat who wanted my own base back, which wasn't the case at all. I would much rather he criticized my personal abilities rather than categorize me and just put me "where most girls go, because we *have* to have them on the team"...kind of made me feel like we were all picked last in gym class if that makes sense.
Anyway, enough of that. I got most of it out in my email so I should just drop it.
On a more positive note, this past weekend was freakin awesome. I have to admit that I was kind of afraid that people wouldn't be as responsive to the Orange Man Group as we were hoping but just the opposite happened. There was a phenomenal response and we had so much fun doing it. Some people have asked about the possibility of doing future gigs at youth events and whatnot. I think it'd be awesome...but for now I am just hoping to relax for a little while before recommiting to that project, to be completely honest. It was a lot of work and there's still plenty to do to get the PVC instruments up to performance grade. More cutting. More gluing. More practicing. More paddles. More time. More effort. More money. It's just not at the top of my excitement list at the moment.
Plus, my hands are still stained at the cuticles and in between my fingers...and my face and hands have an all around orange tinge to them as though I used a really cheap tanning lotion. Not fun at all.
But again, the weekend was amazing! Some of the people came who I was really hoping would show up. I made a couple new friends and totally schooled the Food Chain game (even if it was only a short time and I had to quit at Bullwinkle). I got to see one of my favourite kids become a Christian and some of my others grow closer to God. I saw barriers come down from around my girls' hearts and realized that some of them have come such a long way even in the past few months. And I celebrated!
I also had a bit of a choke-up time, too. It's often at these big events that I start to think about upcoming goodbyes. Last year I had a hard time watching Dondrea go away to school...and this year I've got 4 of my other favourites leaving their respective nests and it's hitting me hard. I knew that it would happen all at once, since they all just happen to be the same age and in the same grade...but that doesn't make it easier as the time left to spend with them grows shorter. I do have to remember that they're not gone yet and I have to make the best of the time I have left with them, but I dread 'goodbye' - especially when it involves those who are so dear to my heart. And so I get anxious about 'goodbye' much sooner than most people do. There is a bit of happiness, though, as I know of at least 2 girls who are, in fact, sticking around for another year or so. At least I don't have to say all my super hard goodbyes all at once.
Well, this has been a really long post...mostly because I've been too busy to fit in shorter, more frequent updates. And there is more on my mind but at this point it's past midnight and my eyes are growing heavier by the second. Plus, let's just be honest...most of you will just see the length of this entry, skim over it and leave within a minute and a half, as that's apparently the average time people spend on my blog, each visit.
So with all of that said, I bid you adieu (to you, and you, and you).
(Psst...how do you solve a problem like Maria?)
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