well, i have to admit i was really nervous.
i was nervous about the fact that the youth band hadn't yet run one of their songs all the way through without having to stop at some point. i was nervous about the whole night completely failing and me looking like a complete tool in front of everyone i respect (including the one person who i've looked to as a musical genius and good friend for the past 5 years). i was nervous about the fact that the entire youth band hadn't even played a single song all together at the same time. i was nervous about the videos not working. about the lyrics not being right.
but i have to say it went pretty well. the youth band was together and got through their without getting lost or confused. lots of people showed up (some were disappointed at the numbers but i thought it was pretty good). transitions were smooth. videos worked. kids had a good time. everything went well.
yet another "i told you so" to add to the list. even though i tried to give it to God and to let Him work through it, having faith that it was going to succeed, i can't honestly say that i really did. but by the time the first couple of songs were over, i had people already thanking me and congratulating me on a job well done and the only thing i could say was "i take no credit". i believe that. i know that yes, it has been a time consuming activity, and it was worrisome and stressful at times but just like always, God pulled it together and it was fantastic.
my legs are killing me (i haven't sat down for more than 15 minutes all day). my headache is coming back. i came home knowing that i had a leftover steak waiting for me from a couple of nights ago, only to find that my parents decided i was letting it sit too long and either ate it or pitched it. the only thing that i've now eaten since lunch is a couple of burnt hot dogs on pieces of bread, simply because it was the only quick thing i could put into my body. i have to be up for work in 10 hours and i already know it's going to be tough waking up just because i'm so worn out. i am not going to stop for the next month or so and i am already overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done. there are a lot of things i should be grumpy about.
and yet, i'm surprisingly content. i sort of feel the way my mom described it when she just finished a 60 km walk over the span of a weekend...it was hard. tiring. stressful. painful. frustrating. uncomfortable. but it was worth it. even though i'm going to be feeling so worn down and stressed, i know that it's going to be worth it because i already feel like it tonight.
plus, there are two really great things about today:
1. i FINALLY got my cheque in the mail from the school. not a moment too soon, either, because this past week has been a killer on my account and i don't even have gas money to get me through the next week so this is a welcome sight.
2. my beautiful nephew, jayden, is 3 today. i can't wait to spend some time with him and his mom in a couple of days.
and now it's time to take a few doses of medication, hop into bed and maybe read myself to sleep.
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