So today I found out that my grandma has been diagnosed with "Large B Cell Lymphoma". I don't know anything about it except that it's really aggressive and that she has to start chemo next week. This particular kind is often, apparently, a secondary cancer...which means that it generally shows up after another type of cancer is already present. Apparently they're going to run some more tests but who knows.
I'm not feeling so hot about the situation. I mean, I would be lying if I said that I have always gotten along perfectly with my grandma (or any member of my family, really) but of course it doesn't mean I want to potentially lose her at such a young age. She's the last of 5 siblings who have all died too young from cancer, heart disease, etc. It's scary for me to think that it's "finally" happening...a serious illness that has killed people is actually hitting me close to home. I've never had a friend or family member die yet, who was a big part of my life, and I don't want it to start now. I've been trying not to think of that, obviously, but what's the use of pretending that it's all going to go away in a snap?
I mean, I have hope. I most definitely have hope. And faith. I have to. I haven't given up on the chance that she'll be a survivor one day. I just don't know how to process everything right now, with everything happening so quickly.
The next 4.5 months is going to be pretty stressful. And my family doesn't handle uncontrollable situations well. We're overly emotional and highly prone to stress and panic. The next while is going to be a rough go.
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