Well as of today, had I actually thought to pray when I got into my car this morning and after work, I would have succeeded in praying everyday at least once while alone in my car. I forgot until just now when I started posting this entry and so now that I've been reminded I will not forget.
I made a faith goal to pray for the same 4 things for the rest of the month. One was later added and then one was quickly forgotten...perhaps I need to pray in 4's because once a fifth prayer request enters one of the original four seemingly gets pushed out. Anyways, I decided I would pray for the same four things and from there it seemed the "dead time" during my drive to and from work was basically 100% taken up by prayer time. Not only would I pray for the four things, but I would be reminded of other situations that were going on that day and I would include those as well.
It's been a great experience and I found a couple of things have happened as a direct result:
1. Far less road rage. I have far more patience than some people I know on the road but I find that it's become even more improved when I remember Who's listening.
2. It really is true that the more time you spend with someone, the more comfortable you are talking to them and the better you feel you can express yourself. That's what has happened with me and God. I remember when I first started praying regularly again, I didn't quite know what to say...but now I can think of more things to "say" and "ask" and other angles from which to pray about a certain situation, rather than the empty "Uhh...and I pray for..." crap that I felt at the beginning of this commitment.
However, praying alone in my car - even though I pray out loud so as not to lose focus - hasn't helped much in the comfort area of praying out loud. I still feel a bit of pressure and silliness knowing that it's not just God listening. I've never been totally comfortable with praying around others, and although for a while I was getting much better at it, I still feel silly doing it for some strange reason. I mean, I never think anyone else sounds silly when they're doing it but I just feel like I'm not eloquent enough at some times and yet not simple enough at others. So we'll see where that takes me.
I have to work on a faith goal for March...I have to say that when I was working at the greenhouse last year I made it a point to not complain about anything and I felt I was much happier when I could control my griping. I read a magazine article once about a pastor in the states who handed out bracelets (those silly rubber Christian Crap and Jesus Junk ones) to members of the congregation who were willing to take on a griping challenge; every time someone catches themselves complaining, they would switch their bracelet to the other wrist. The goal was to keep the bracelet on one wrist for a set amount of time which seemed fairly short and easy to accomplish but when you don't realize how often you complain about something, it could take quite a lot of time to actually make it to the 3 week point or whatever it was.
Perhaps this is a good challenge for me - except that I can't wear bracelets or any form of jewellry to work so I don't know what I would use that can be consistently with me and changed around everytime I complain. And because I do my biggest complaining at work, it's imperative that I use something that can be incorporated into my working environment.
After this month is over, I was meant to celebrate and reward myself somehow to positively reinforce this behaviour. But since I'm broke and already had one of the best celebration-type events of my life last night (I think it was enough celebration to cover both my 91% final grade in DL Seminar I AND the accomplishment of my faith goal) I figure that having a house all to myself and having a chance to be alone and relax for a week is reward enough. I hope to spend this week in reading, writing, prayer and quiet time mode.
I think I'll start right now, after a good belly scratch...
...for the dog, of course. :)
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