For the past little while I've noticed myself becoming one of the most negative people I know. Ranting and swearing and complaining to my closest friends, and just displaying my mood to the rest of the world through my eyes. I'm not the kind of person who can easily cover up with I'm grumpy.
I'm grumpy a lot lately. And thinking about who I've "become" on the inside led me to think about a girls group that I used to lead in our church, called "Becoming" - and it made me realize that this attitude is certainly not very "becoming" of me at all, is it?
It's ugly.
And in some ways, being an extremely self concious person, I feel like I don't have a whole lot of beauty to waste and therefore I better get it together and make up for the lack of beauty, otherwise, in my life.
I have a private blog where I bitch and moan and whine. Since I know it's prettymuch invisible to the world I somehow think it's okay to completely let loose and leave all verbal and emotional beauty behind. And it's not necessary.
But my last public blog ended up being mostly a lie to the world, so I'm not going to promise that just because it's open for anyone to read that I'm going to sugarcoat or censor it 100%. But there are ways of expressing myself which are more appropriate and hopefully I will learn patience and wisdom and discipline through this.
The title of each entry will not be the subject of what's to follow, but I hope more to make it a place where I name one beautiful thing for the day.
Speaking of discipline, I'm now going to be about 5 minutes late for work so I should probably head out.
Let's see where this goes...
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